Humor & Sexual Assault

“Spontaneity can only happen when avoiding death or injury stops being a survivor’s primary concern. Spontaneity happens when one is able to dwell in a moment for its own sake.” If you can use humor to communicate an experience, you have healed; its memory can no longer cause you pain. Rather, you are able to use it to educate, direct action, and advocate through telling your story. I don’t agree with the narrative that victims should “look the part” or speak of their experience at a general pace or with certain emotions; when in shock, everyone reacts differently! Someone can be crying, laughing, nervous, void of emotion, non-responsive etc. 

 

Honestly, the term “rape culture” is something I had to search up because it sounded appalling and horrifying. For those three seconds while my screen loaded, all I thought was “Please don’t be the normalization of rape.” I don’t know why I expected something different if I know the statistics and have heard the stories. The statement, “I disagree. I believe it’s something with which we haven’t become intimate enough,” initially made me freeze in fear, until I realize that she’s referring to a need to investigate and question rape culture. What’s interesting is how everything is a constant battle: it’s difficult to speak up and report (which people are told to do), yet if they do the individual runs the risk of being questioned and shamed. Humor is used as a magnifying lens to an issue and the issue with rape culture is that the victim isn’t supported and allowed a voice; the perpetrator should feel shame not the victim! 

 

There’s this exercise, where the audience is asked a series of questions and they must stand if the answer is yes. Some of the questions include stand up if someone you know or yourself has experienced sexual violence, stand up if you or someone you know reported an act of sexual violence. Always, people stand in shock as the majority of the audience stand up during the first question and very few stand during the last question. This highlights two things: how are we communicating about the topic and why aren’t more people reporting? I am a firm advocate of discussing an experience however you feel comfortable doing so. Society forces victims to not only relive the experience multiple times through the countless times they must defend themselves and explain, but also asks them to discuss the topic in the most sterile manner; society is too desensitized to these topics, and the victim is forced to discuss a traumatic experience in a (usually) hostile environment.  As for why not many people file a report. Simply, constantly arguing with society about your own experience is exhausting and that vicious cycle can prevent healing; sometimes all people want to do is heal. Another reason is the corrupted justice system. Sadly, people have lost faith in the belief that someone would fight for them instead of with them.  People don’t want to become an unidentified statistic where this experience somehow is both ignored and magnified.